The dick running feud is the perfect internet drama to close out your week

We’re proud to report that there are two — yes, two — dick runners named Claire who are popular for using fitness tracking apps to jog out phallic routes for the internet. The issue? One insists she came first, and she’s calling for a “cease and dicksist.”

The two women have gained Instagram notoriety over the past few years for their various penis-shaped running routes. Both of them call themselves “Dick Run Claire,” and both meticulously plot out genitals of all shapes and sizes, phallic and yonic. It’s like a massive, city-sized Etch-A-Dick.